


International Dog Biscuit Appreciation Day

by DawnDust



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Episode: s07e10 Happy Holidays, Fluff and Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-13 11:08:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29277471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DawnDust/pseuds/DawnDust
Summary: Ted mails David a dog biscuit for International Dog Biscuit Appreciation Day. Patrick has some questions.
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Comments: 50
Kudos: 144
Collections: Schitt's Creek Season 7





	International Dog Biscuit Appreciation Day

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Drunken Secrets](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27688633) by [samwhambam](https://archiveofourown.org/users/samwhambam/pseuds/samwhambam). 
  * In response to a prompt by Anonymous in the [SCSeason7](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/SCSeason7) collection. 



> **Prompt:** 7x10 - Happy Holidays
> 
> This is the generic, catch-all prompt for all things related to holidays, birthdays, and anniversaries. Claim this prompt if you have an idea for a work that doesn't fit any of the other 7x10 prompts.
> 
> I was halfway through writing this and realized that this idea felt so familiar, because Samwhambam wrote a fic on it. So thank you for the inspiration, Sam! 
> 
> I wanted to write about a silly holiday, so i looked up what holidays are on day this is posted, and it turned out that February 23 is International Dog Biscuit Appreciation Day. I thought that would be the perfect holiday for David. I hope you enjoy reading it!

David rubbed his eyes and walked into his living room, still in his pajamas. He gazed around the room until his eyes landed on his husband. Patrick was sitting on the couch, reading a book and looked very comfortable under a thick, blue weighted blanket.

“Morning, sleepyhead,” Patrick said, as David walked over to get his usual morning kiss. “So are the pajamas just a stylistic choice, or…”

“Too early for you to be making fun of me.” David replied, as he shuffled into the kitchen and poured himself a cup of coffee. He drank from it and made a face. “This’s cold.”

“It’s 2 PM, so it’s been sitting there for a few hours now, David.” Patrick pointed out, still reading from his book.

David muttered, “Bite me.” Patrick looked up at that and leered at him, until he rolled his eyes and joined him on the couch, still holding onto his cold cup of coffee. “The Apothecary?”

Patrick shook his head. “There’s still far too much snow. It looks like it’ll die down enough for us to open tomorrow, though.” David puts down his mug and rests his head on Patrick’s shoulder, snuggling into him under the blanket.

“Mm, Comfy.”

Patrick put one arm around David and looked at him in amusement. “Do you need a couple more hours of sleep before you’re ready to speak in full sentences?” David flipped him off, and just buried himself further into Patrick and his warm blanket cocoon.

David had been having a very nice dream where he’d been participating in a cake eating contest, when he was rudely woken up by Patrick getting off the couch. He let out a loud groan to show his dissatisfaction, and tried to pull Patrick back down.

“Just give me a minute, David. I’m gonna go check the mail.” Patrick patted at his hip and walked away, leaving David cold and sad. David didn’t understand how he could be this cruel. He also did not understand why Patrick expected them to be getting mail in the middle of a snowstorm, and why he had to check it right this second.

By the time Patrick got back, David was sitting up grumpily, arms folded. “You’re not letting me sleep,” he accused.

Patrick snorted “David, It’s almost three! And the sofa isn’t exactly meant for sleeping.” Before David could argue back, Patrick tossed the box onto the sofa and said, “This came in for you. It’s from Ted.” David looked at it quizzically. He’d honestly forgotten Ted existed for a good bit, so it was strange to be getting something from him.

“Well, what is it?”

“I don’t know, David, I didn’t open it!” Patrick threw up his hands like David was being the unreasonable one here. “That’s a felony!”

“We’re literally _married_.”

“I’m pretty sure it’s still illegal.”

“Well, it’s not like I’m going to report you!” David pointed out, but picked up the package.

Patrick deadpanned, “Yeah, but I still don’t know if our relationship could survive police questioning.” David blinked, still too sleepy to try and understand what the fuck his husband was going on about. He just shook his head, and ripped the box open.

Inside, there was a note and a little tin, covered in pawprints. David tossed the note aside and opened up the box to find some delicious looking pawprint-shaped cookies covered in icing. He took a bite and smiled at Patrick, “This was surprisingly nice of Ted.” For some reason, cookies weren’t as sweet as he expected them to be. But they tasted really familiar.

“Was it?” Patrick asked, picking up the note and reading it out loud. “Hey, big guy, I just wanted to wish you a very happy International Dog Biscuit Appreciation Day!” Fuck.

David froze, on his third bite of the cookie. Oh. That’s why he recognized them. He looked up guiltily at Patrick who continued reading, “I was sending my usual batch of treats for today to my old patients in Schitt’s Creek, when I remember how much you liked this brand!” Patrick paused and just stared at David. “David, What in the world is he talking about?”

Fuckkk. “I don’t know! I don’t know Ted and why he says the things he says and does the things he does!” David exclaimed, and shoved the rest of the cookie in his mouth before Patrick realized what it was and stopped him.

“I hope you have a _paw-some_ day! Love, Ted.” Patrick wrinkled his nose and looked at David. “Since when were you and Ted close enough for him to be sending you presents?”

“We’re not!” David replied, as well as he could with his mouth full. “I think he’s just a very nice guy.” He quickly nibbled on a second cookie.

“I’m so confused. Why is Ted sending you _cookies_ on International Dog Biscuit Day?” David shrugged and continues eating. “It would make much more sense to send dog biscuits, but we don’t even have a-” Patrick looked up sharply. Uh-oh. “David, are you eating dog treats.”

“No!” David gave a muffled reply, before shoving another one in his mouth. Patrick dropped the note and lunged for the tin. “Patrick, no! Give it back, it’s _my_ present!” Patrick managed to get it out of David’s hands, and gave the box a sniff. His lip curled in disgust.

“David, what the _fuck_!” David shoved his face into his hands.

“I _know_ , okay, but I accidentally ate one at Ted’s one day, and they’re not awful.” He admitted.

“You- when did you eat a dog treat at Ted’s??”

David shuffled around a bit. “I don’t know, maybe, possibly, five years ago, during the first Single’s Week?” He could see the gears in Patrick’s head turning as he tried to remember that week.

“I don’t remember you going to Ted’s.” Patrick said, looking up at the ceiling, thinking. “Wait, the day I told you that I loved you, didn’t you have to carry that awkwardly-shaped box to Ted?”

“Mhm.” Goddamit, why did his husband have such a freakishly good memory?

“And then you came back and told me you loved me. And kissed me. David, did you kiss me right after you had a dog treat?”

David closed one eye and screwed up his face. “I did drink some water beforehand to rinse out the taste,” he tried to defend.

“David!” Patrick started laughing. “I can’t believe you ate a dog treat and kissed me! Right after you told me you _loved_ me!”

“In my defense, it was surprisingly good. And I didn’t want it to go to waste cause I’d already taken a bite out of it.”

Patrick was still laughing, so David hazarded, “And I don’t think those should go to waste either,” pointing at the box in Patrick’s hand.

“David, I’m not giving you more dog cookies to eat. That can’t be good for you.”

“It’s _my_ body, I decide what to put in it!” David replied, and then replayed that sentence over in his head and winced. He didn’t mean to make it sound like that.

Patrick looked at him gleefully, clearly thrilled at the opportunity David had given him. “So, does that mean that I can’t put my-”

David threatened, “If you finish that sentence, you’re not going to be putting anything in anywhere for the next week.”

Patrick snickered and then said, "I'm sorry if I offended your delicate sensibilities, David. Do you think you could _paw-_ ssibly _fur_ -give me?" Oh my god.

"Oh my god, _no_ , we're not doing this." Why in the world did David marry someone who got off on annoying him?

"And don't worry about the dog treats, David. I'll still love you _fur_ -ever."

"Stop it, Patrick!"

**Author's Note:**

> I'd love any feedback! <3


End file.
